Holy guacamole, I have been going non stop all day. First of all, I need to vent about last Sunday at the Maine Mall. Anyone who knows me knows I HATE THE MALL. I will do whatever possible NOT TO GO TO THE MALL. As a matter of fact, my son is almost 10 years old, and get this - it is his FIRST TIME EVER at the mall. We went to drop my car off at Sears so I could get an oil change and tires rotated as I had 3 trips to Manchester, NH this week. I told Jaydon we would go walk around the mall to get him the new Diary of a Wimpy Kid book. First stop, shoe store. No Uggs so I left. 2nd stop? Olympia for Jaydon. I took good notes as to what he wants for Christmas. Third stop? Game Stop for Jaydon, I stood outside and Facebooked the entire time. Here I am, like an old foogie, looking at the friggin' mall directory. IS THIS POSSIBLE? The Maine Mall doesn't have a single bookstore? Nowhere? Not even a Border's Express anymore? What has this world come to? What mall doesn't have a bookstore? Books are the best form of education out there!!!! UGHHHHHH so as I am embarrassing my son looking at the directory (sidenote: this is the point where he asked "I thought you've lived in Maine your whole life...." I see Spencer Gifts. Ok, here we go. I got kicked out - YES - removed - from Spencer gifts. I am not even sure why I am surprised. I guess you aren't allowed to have a 9 year old in the store. Is it MY fault that they sell sex toys and shirts with swears on them in the back of the store? I think not. I think it is more of a parent's decision whether or not they should even allow their child in that store in the first place. And if you AREN'T going to allow kids in the store, how about not putting all kids shit up front? Of course my 9 year old walks by and sees cool hats, fancy belt buckles, glow in the dark stars, posters of Justin goddamn Beiber and Kim Kardashian half naked and wants to go in that store!!! So what do we do? We go IN the store, then get removed. SO UNNECESSARY. I was out back looking at the dirty cards for my friends' 40th birthday this weekend and yea, I guess my son was interested in womens boobs because he came over to me and looked like he had just won the lotto. His eyes were big and he was like, "Uhmmm, MOM?" and I am standing there laughing at cards and I was like, "yeah?" and he pointed at some ladies boobs on the front of a card and I was like, "Ohhhhhh okay you go back up front I will be up there in a minute." The next thing I know, there was a huddle in the front with all the SIXTEEN YEAR OLD WORKERS and I could tell they were conspiring about something (I thought they were just talking about me standing at the rack laughing at cards like a loonatic) and then the manager walks over to me (who is all of 18) and asks me as nice as an 18 year old can if I am able to come back at another time. I said, "WHAT?" and she said "Your son is too young to be in this store," and I laughed and said "you are kidding me right?" I pointed at the 11 and 12 year old girls who were standing reading KAMA SUTRA and HOW TO GIVE BLOW JOB books and said "What is the age limit?" and she said "there isn't a limit per se, he is just too young and its not appropriate." I said "OKAYYYYY THEN" and I slammed the card back in the rack and said to Jaydon "Come on, lets get out of here..." Poor Jaydon had NO idea what happened. I don't really remember being that mad where I couldn't just pop off and give them a piece of my mind (ONLY because my son was there - otherwise, it would have been ON)!!!!!
God, being a parent sometimes can make me feel TOO grown up.My rant is over. Thanks for listening. God this is good therapy. I won't even bore the computer with how swamped I am at work.
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